Through the Years
by Traci
Summary: SMackedish  After an extremely tough case, Mac takes care of Stella and both reflect upon their years together and what it means to each of them.


Disclaimer: Alas, none of the CSI:NY stuff belongs to me – if they did we wouldn't have to wait so long for a really juicy hint that Mac and Stella share the same feelings hehe. The song used is "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers.

Rating: K

Spoilers: All seasons, possibly including season 4 so far.

Category: Mac and Stella friendship and possibly a bit more.

Author: Traci

Summary: After an extremely tough case, Mac takes care of Stella and both reflect upon their years together and what it means to each of them.

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Through the Years_

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I can't remember when you weren't there  
When I didn't care for anyone but you  
I swear we've been through everything there is  
Can't imagine anything we've missed  
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do 

He watched as she slept in his bed. It had been another tough case but this one had cut through to the very core of the woman he was honored to call 'friend'. She had fought him, of course, insisting she was perfectly fine and fully capable of dealing with everything in her own apartment by herself. He never doubted her ability to deal – to cope – to survive. This one time, however, he refused to let her win.

Still in a deep sleep, she rolled onto her side and hugged one of his pillows closer to her.

In the darkness of his room, he thought back to that one day in September when everything changed. The days that followed still were blurred but one thing he was sure of… she had not left him alone for weeks. She had even used her own vacation days so that she would be able to be there for him. He vaguely remembered nights of crying himself to sleep in her arms. He never remembered her pushing or questioning his actions.

Had there ever been a time when she had not been in his life? Realistically, yes, of course there had been many years. His life before New York had not included her. Yet, after so many years of working together, he was not really sure she had not been a part of his life in some way even in Chicago. Almost as if they had been destined to meet.

She snuggled deeper beneath the blankets and sighed.

He had not known her when her life consisted of nothing more than a small room in an orphanage and the occasional time spent in foster care. He wished he had. He would have found a way to rescue her from such a life. He should have found a way to prevent her from getting hurt by someone she thought she could trust as an adult. Not a day went by when he didn't mentally kick himself for not recognizing her boyfriend as potentially abusive.

_Through the years, you've never let me down  
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found  
I've found with you ... Through the years  
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made  
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you  
Through the years_

She knew he was watching her. She could always feel when he was around. She knew he thought she was asleep. It was one of the few times he would allow himself to let his guard down.

Inwardly she smiled. It had always been so easy with him. From their first meeting, the banter had started and she finally felt like she belonged somewhere. He was unavailable at the time and that made it that much easier as there was no question of motives.

He had put in the recommendation that changed her life forever. The recommendation that had changed both their lives. When she joined him at the lab, as his partner, she felt safe. Then September 2001 happened. The day that defined who and what they truly would be to each other. She had not left his side for weeks. From those moments, he opened up to her like he did with no other. He trusted her with some of the most private concerns in his life. Even when they fought, and some of their fights were legendary not just in the lab but throughout the entire NYPD, they both knew it would never end what they have.

She heard him shuffle his feet by the doorway.

Frankie. The name still sent shivers down her spine. Unlike the movies, Mac had not arrived in a nick of time to rescue her from the 'bad guy' but he had made sure her name was cleared of murder. He had not slept until every piece of the puzzle fit and completed what happened. What the others did not know was, he had always stayed with her at the hospital through the darkest hours of the nights, holding her hand and allowing her to cry on his shoulder like she had done for him many years earlier.

Despite their fights, despite outside love interests, they always stayed with each other.

She snuggled deeper down in the blankets, inhaling his scent around her.

_I can't remember what I used to do  
Who I trusted, who I listened to before  
I swear you taught me everything I know  
Can't imagine needing someone so  
But through the years it seems to me  
I need you more and more_

He smiled at her as she burrowed beneath the warmth of his blankets. He trusted her with everything he had, was and would be. He knew she trusted him the same. It was what made 'them' work. It was what allowed them to disagree and fight to the end to get their point across but in the end, shake hands and have dinner together. He had loved Claire. He had married Claire so there was certainly some level of trust there but it was never like it had been with Stella. Perhaps Claire was the reason he had been able to let his guard down with Stella and trust her completely. There was no worry it would be taken the wrong way.

As he watched her, he knew without her, he would not be standing there. He would not still be with the lab. He would probably not still be in New York. With a small shiver, he realized he might not even be among the living if she hadn't been there for him after Clair had died. If she had not held him throughout the worst of the nightmares…

When had he reached the point where he depended on her so much?

_Through the years, through all the good and bad  
I know how much we had, I've always been so glad  
To be with you ... Through the years  
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away  
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you  
Through the years  
_

As with any friendship, there had been good days and bad days, especially in their line of work. She could still feel his arms around her as he held her on the rooftop of the lab and told her he would be there for her no matter what the results of her HIV test were. His eyes had shown her how hurt he was that she had not told him sooner. He had smiled at her with understanding when she explained she had thought she could do it all on her own. Her heart melted when he repeated her words back to her – in Greek.

She still heard him shuffling by the doorway. Some people, if they are lucky, managed to find a few friends they can trust. Fewer people were lucky enough to find what they had.

Would it be too bold to ask him to hold her?

_Through the years, when everything went wrong  
Together we were strong, I know that I belong  
Right here with you ... Through the years  
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out  
I've learned what life's about, by loving you  
Through the years  
_

He had known this case was going to be tough for her. He had initially hesitated before partnering her with himself on the call. He had watched for any sign that she would not be able to handle it but she held herself together. Even as they processed the scene she had not flinched.

Ten children. Brutally slain in the basement of an orphanage. The basement of the same orphanage Stella had called home for many years. All slain by the janitor who had managed to make it through the screening process so no one was aware he had recently been released from prison after serving twenty years for the rape and murder of two young girls in Arkansas.

Stella was strong. He was strong. They were even stronger together but a case like that…

_Through the years, you've never let me down  
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found  
I've found with you ... Through the years  
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away  
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you  
Through the years..._

"Are you going to watch me all night?" she finally muttered, smiling at him in the dark.

"I… I'm sorry, Stella. I just needed to be sure you were…"

Pushing the covers off her face, she rolled on her back and looked at him in the pale light seeping in from the living room. "I'd feel better if…"

Needing no more words, Mac understood. Walking to the bed, he pulled the covers down and slid in beside her.

Wearing a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt, Stella was still cold. She snuggled against his side, sliding her arm over his chest while he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much."

Mac played with Stella's hair until he felt the dampness of her tears through his own shirt. "Stel?"

"I'm not ready to talk about the case yet, Mac but… Mac, please promise me that nothing will ever come between us. That no one will ever come between us. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He froze for a moment. Had she read his thoughts earlier? Tightening his hold a bit more, he whispered, "I promise. I would never make it without you either."

_As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you_

_Through the years..._

The End


End file.
